The Home Biz Factory website Earnings Disclaimer, Legal Notices, and Terms of Service

Hi.

This is Luke W. Parker, the author of this entire website. You must either be very bored, or very upset to be reading this page. If you're bored, then stick around, I've gone through a lot of re-writes just to make it entertaining for you.

If you're upset at some policy of mine, then I will likewise attempt to better explain it here, and since I've removed all the legal jargon, you'll have a 76.82% better chance of getting it, too.

First thing's first, my lawyer made me include this page.

At first, I thought that the lawyer was being a real pain, especially since I'm not even charging any money across this entire website!

But then I reconsidered... I do, afterall, live in the most litigious society that this planet has ever known. So I guess some of this is really important stuff afterall, at least for me if not for you.

If only my style wasn't so laid back and opinionated!

I therefore had no choice but to take all that "legalese" the lawyer wrote for me and translate it into actual English. So I hope you enjoy the stuff remaining on this page, at least enough to read it through. It could even prevent you from hearing from my lawyer, or worse yet, from a really nasty person, like a prosecutor.

Here's how I do business:

I run this website so that people just like you can use it for personal education and entertainment. So go ahead and browse around all you like, I'll be adding more to it all the time. You can even download stuff from anywhere on this website but only for personal use. Don't try to sell them or make money off of them yourself in any way. When you copy any of it, be sure not to fool around with the copyright and other notices all over whatever it is that you download. They're there for a really good reason.

And don't even think about modifying, transmitting, distributing, re-posting, cloning, or anything else with any of that stuff, including the images, text, audio, documents, and video, for public or commercial purposes unless I give you written permission. And it's not very likely that I will do so.

When you visit my site, you're also legally obligated to agree with the terms and conditions below and any other law or regulation that applies to this website, the Internet, the World Wide Web, or the United States of America. I really wish you wouldn't access or browse the site if you have any problem with that, because once you start, there's no turning back- You are stuck with the terms and conditions.

So here are my house rules for everyone who uses this website:

1. The infamous Earnings Disclaimer. Although I really do try to be realistic about how likely you are to making money with the techniques, resources, software, links, or whatever else you find on my website, I am in no way guaranteeing that they'll work for you at all. I do not claim that you can make a single red penny using any of the advice on this whole website. Nor can I guarantee that any advice I give you will work in any way for your situation.

I make no representation or warranties with respect to the accuracy, applicability, fitness, or completeness of the contents of this website and or any products or services supplied by any third party.

Regardless of what I say on this whole website, there is no way at all for you to blame me for any advice you've followed not working. I cannot be held responsible. I didn't twist your arm to do any of it.

In the immortal words of Captain Solo, "It's not my fault!"

You've been warned.

2. I cannot be held responsible for _your_ big mouth either! If you don't want the world to know something, don't post it on this site, especially not in my bulletin board or anyplace else that other people might see.

That's mainly because anything you disclose to me is mine. Yep, ALL MINE. So I can do anything I want with the stuff you post. I can reproduce it, disclose it, transmit it, publish it, broadcast it, and post it someplace else. I can even send it to your mother, as soon as I figure out her address.

Not only that, I can even use any ideas, concepts, know-how, or techniques you post any way I want to, including, developing, manufacturing and marketing products or other stuff using the information you post.

Are you getting the picture here? If you leave any information on this site, it's perfectly legal for me to take it and embarrass you publicly with it! You've been warned!

3. You will probably notice that I've linked my website to lots of other sites. While that's quite handy for me, for you, for the other sites, and even for Google, it doesn't actually mean that I've looked at all those sites, much less checked them out periodically to see what's going on over there. So don't blame me if some site you saw here and decided to link to is bad or has stuff on it that offends you or your uncle Herbert. Go right ahead and link to it, but remember, you're doing so at your risk. I didn't twist your arm. You've been warned!

4. I really do try to include accurate stuff on this site, but I cannot promise you that it is in fact accurate. I'm not even promising you anything except my charming sense of humor and rugged good looks. So if you use anything from this website, you are using it at your own risk. And try not to quote me either, you'll be the one with egg on your face if I'm wrong. Don't call me if there's a problem because I assume no liability or responsibility for errors or omissions on the site. You've been warned!

5. For everyone's sake, please oh please just assume that everything on the site is copyrighted unless I say it isn't. That specifically means that you can't use the stuff except how I say you can on this page or anywhere else on the site without my written permission. And like I said before, it's not likely I'll give you permission anyway. In fact, even if I want to, that mean old lawyer of mine is quite likely to veto the deal anyway. So it's better if you don't even ask. You've been warned!

6. Me, myself and anybody else who helped me create, produce, or deliver this site are not liable for any damages you suffer when you use it. In particular, my lawyer wants you to know that my disclaimer includes the whole enchilada: "direct, incidental, consequential, indirect, or punitive damages arising out of your access to, or use of, the website."

He went on to say something that is really hard for me to translate, so I'll also leave this part in his words: "Everything on this site is provided to you 'AS IS' WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT."

See what I mean? He's quite a card.

Here's the bottom line though: I'm not responsible if you're browsing around and the website damages you or your computer or infects it with any malware, spyware, trojans, or other nasty Virii. I sure hope that doesn't happen, but if it does, don't call me. Call McAffee or someone who can actually do something about it. You've been warned!

7. Pictures of people or places shown on the site are either my property or someone else's property I'm using with their permission. No matter what, it's definitely NOT your property. You or any of your buddies can't use it unless I said “yes” to you in an email, fax, or snail mail directly to you and nobody else. And remember how I am about that? I won't say yes. So be careful, because unauthorized use may violate all sorts of ugly laws. Be smart; keep the stuff you download to yourself. You've been warned!

8. There are also a lot of trademarks, logos, and service marks on the site that either I own or I'm using with someone else's permission. So don't think that you have any kind of license or right to use them, because you don't and I'm not about to give you one. If you find yourself messing with any trademarks, logos and service marks on my site, I'll probably go ballistic, and so will the companies that own the other trademarks, logos and service marks. That means that I'm likely to sue you or at least ask a prosecutor to come after you for messing around with my property or the property of others. You've been warned!

9. That brings us to what you see while you're visiting my site. While I occasionally post on my bulletin boards, I take no responsibility and assume no liability for the content of those locations or for any mistakes, defamation, libel, slander, omissions, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography, or profanity you might encounter when you visit such places on my site. I’ll try to remove them as soon as possible out of a sense of moral obligation, but not out of necessity, because I don’t have to do it, I’m not responsible. You’ve been warned!

10. Don't YOU be stupid and let me catch you posting or transmitting any unlawful, threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous, inflammatory, pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane material or any material that law enforcement types may consider a criminal offense, get someone in court on a civil lawsuit, or for that matter violate any law. While I certainly respect your privacy, I have no choice but to fully cooperate with any law enforcement authorities or court which might ask me who might have posted that stuff on my site. You've been warned!

11. Software that I use on this website is protected by all sorts of patriotic U.S. laws. Because of that, you cannot download or send the software to anyone in the happy-funtime vacation spots of Cuba, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Iran, Syria, or any other country where United States has embargoed goods; or to anyone on the United States Treasury Department's list of Specially Designated Nationals, or even to the U.S. Commerce Department's Table of Deny Orders, whatever those may be.

And just in case you live in one of those places and think it doesn't apply to you, Mr. Smarty pants, it does. If you are a national of any of those places, you're not even supposed to be reading this page, so shove off! (Please understand I mean that in the most respectful way.) You've been warned!

12. I'm also allowed to change this page and anything else on the site any time I want to. That's because it's mine, not yours. I have the programmers who can do it whenever I feel like it. If and when I do change the page, then you're bound by those changes, too, whenever you visit my site, you're automatically bound to use the latest set of house rules. THERE’S NO ESCAPING THE RULES! You've been warned!

13. If either of us wants to ‘make something of it’ and wants to “sue” (I hate using that word, but keep in mind who wrote the first draft of this document) then I have to follow the following rules of engagement. (Sort of according to the Geneva Convention):

“This Agreement is governed by the laws of the State of Kansas, without regard to principles of conflict of laws.

To the extent you have in any manner violated or threatened to violate The Home Biz Factory and/or its affiliates' intellectual property rights, The Home Biz Factory and/or its affiliates may seek injunctive or other appropriate relief in any state or federal court in the State of Kansas, and you consent to exclusive jurisdiction and venue in such courts.

Any other disputes will be resolved as follows:

If a dispute arises under this agreement, I agree to first try to resolve it with the help of a mutually agreed-upon mediator in the following location: Kansas City, Kansas. Any costs and fees other than attorney fees associated with the mediation will be shared equally by each of us.

If it proves impossible to arrive at a mutually satisfactory solution through mediation, I agree to submit the dispute to binding arbitration at the following location: Kansas City, Kansas, under the rules of the American Arbitration Association. Judgment upon the award rendered by the arbitration may be entered in any court with jurisdiction to do so.”  

One final time, in case you didn‘t catch it before: You've been warned!

If this all sounds kind of mean and unfair, I apologize... But you should have seen what the lawyer handed to me the first time! I had to remind him that human sacrifice was no longer allowed under the United States since the Declaration of Independence or something. He almost cried.

That's about it. Now you know that although I'm quite funny, I also cover all of my bases and I'm not to be trifled with. In the State of Texas, they now say: "Don't mess with Luke Parker..."

I just have to remind you one last time that although I'm a fun guy and I've designed this to be a fun place to get a great education, please don't forget that if you don't agree with anything here, you are required to immediately click on the small "X" button in the top right-hand corner of your browser window, and never come back.

Myself, my family, my business associates, my corporation, and even my goldfish cannot be held liable for anything you see on this website at all, period.